Humbled.
There are so many things I have to say, but simply don't have the time to write them. There are stories to tell, tutorials to display, wonderful people to write about. If you're not into reading about some personal stuff that has absolutely NOTHING to do with knitting, do yourself a favor and move on down the knit ring right now. :)
I'm overwhelmed. Opening the mail tonight, I saw that a credit card company increased my rate from 9.9% to 20.99%. Twenty-one freaking percent. The payment I'm making each month via automated withdrawal is now not even enough to cover the interest.
Maybe it's been building, maybe my hormones are out of balance, I don't know....but I lost it. I spent over 50 minutes on the phone with several different customer service people for this company, and eventually had a melt down. Right there, on the phone. Yes, I was angry---but when I get REAL angry, it comes out as tears. In this case, hysterical tears. No doubt several of the transfers from one customer service rep to the next were simply to get rid of the weeping woman who has been trying like mad to plug the hole on her sinking ship.
Now before you feel sorry for me, let me set you straight. This is NOT about sympathy. I don't deserve it. This financial shit is my own doing, and I've made several grievous errors in the last eight years. So for those of you who might be near Divorce Island, I offer up some of those errors, so that perhaps you can avoid a few underwater hazards:
In between typing out these paragraphs of anger, fear and well...more fear, I've also been doing some reading.
After the Friday night tax deadline, I hope to have more time to catch up on blogstuff, both writing AND reading. And I also hope that while you are reading this you are safe, warm, and happy. Have a great rest of the week!
I'm overwhelmed. Opening the mail tonight, I saw that a credit card company increased my rate from 9.9% to 20.99%. Twenty-one freaking percent. The payment I'm making each month via automated withdrawal is now not even enough to cover the interest.
Maybe it's been building, maybe my hormones are out of balance, I don't know....but I lost it. I spent over 50 minutes on the phone with several different customer service people for this company, and eventually had a melt down. Right there, on the phone. Yes, I was angry---but when I get REAL angry, it comes out as tears. In this case, hysterical tears. No doubt several of the transfers from one customer service rep to the next were simply to get rid of the weeping woman who has been trying like mad to plug the hole on her sinking ship.
Now before you feel sorry for me, let me set you straight. This is NOT about sympathy. I don't deserve it. This financial shit is my own doing, and I've made several grievous errors in the last eight years. So for those of you who might be near Divorce Island, I offer up some of those errors, so that perhaps you can avoid a few underwater hazards:
- I hired a really nice lawyer. I had asked our company attorney for a reference, visited said referred gentleman, and after a discussion, hired him. My case was then promptly given to a very sweet young woman fresh out of law school. She was very nice. I didn't want to make waves. Now the waves my ex-husband's S.O.B.-of-an-attorney made are capsizing my little boat.
- I kept living as if I were still part of a two-income family. I like stuff, and it shows. I'm embarrassed, and pretty fucking humbled, if you must know. This ain't no pity party -- this is a public slapping of self. (No, I'm not a m*asoch*ist.)
- I haven't kept my resume up-to-date, nor done any serious job-shopping for awhile. Having heard recently what a few people around Boise make---people who do the same job that I do, and some who aren't real good at it---I see that I've been real unaware of the value of my work. Again, there's no one here to blame but myself.
- I've rarely said "no" to my kids. This is a tough one, and my stomach is still churning about it. Michael wants a car. He's in driver's ed right now, and will be able to drive alone by Fall. He's also failing two classes. His dad called me up a few weeks ago, wanting to know if I was going to cough up any money for a car, and oh yes, Nick's college tuition in the Fall. Excuse me, but I worked for my first car, and waited until I worked in a company that helped pay tuition costs before taking college classes. Nick has a grand GPA of 2.12. Boise State won't admit him with a full-time status -- only part-time. He can't do his part by pulling the grades in high school, yet it's my obligation to go into bankruptcy to give him money for school? Aren't there school-to-work programs? Isn't there an end to this ranting? Shouldn't Michael Jackson just be sent to an insane asylum? Didn't Prince Charles make an ass of himself mumbling under his breath in a recent interview?
In between typing out these paragraphs of anger, fear and well...more fear, I've also been doing some reading.
The wise woman builds her house,Looks like it's time to rebuild that house, baby. :)
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
- Proverbs 14:1
Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.
- Proverbs 15:22
After the Friday night tax deadline, I hope to have more time to catch up on blogstuff, both writing AND reading. And I also hope that while you are reading this you are safe, warm, and happy. Have a great rest of the week!
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